After years of divorce announcements that shocked me because the couple seemed so happy, I decided to go back and look for signs.  Were there things that had been going on all along that I should have noticed? Were there signs that this couple was in trouble? Are there certain trends that exist among divorced couples that are not what we’d call “the usual suspects?”

For years we have heard that two of the main problems that lead to divorce are money problems and adultery.  These two factors get all the publicity, but there are several other telltale signs that could also lead to a divorce.

If you are married now, or about to get married, examine carefully if any of these contributing factors below exist in your relationship. Each item is worth approximately 10%.

Factor #1: Marry a Hollywood celebrity.  If you are also a Hollywood celebrity married to a Hollywood celebrity, this may further compound the issue.  As we all know, this is not always the case. However, the stresses of being in the public eye can wear on a marriage.

Factor #2:  Upload a video to social media with you and your spouse dancing in your living room.  I don’t know why but these videos have a hint of “We’re so happy. We’re so happy. Look, we’re just so happy!”.

Factor #3:  Gush, brag or advise based on your awesome relationship. Surely, we all have a piggy bank somewhere with a dollar for every couple we’ve ever seen on TV gushing about their love story. “We’re so adorable. We’re so adorable. Wow. We’re just so adorable!”

Factor #4: Use your spouse as a prop. This may mean using your spouse as a prop during a political campaign, a public relations campaign, a job application campaign, or some other campaign where you need to be viewed as stable secure, and happily married.

Factor #5: Have your wife appear nude, or almost nude in one of your music videos.  This is often intended to show off, but it only shows your lack of respect for your wife.

Factor #6: Marry someone who loves you deeply, world without end, but hates and is threatened by everything you love and care about.  Most spouses with a modicum of maturity understand that a spouse comes with hobbies they are passionate about, relatives, and sources of happiness not related to their spouse.

Factor #7:  Ignore immaturity.  Sometimes immaturity can be cute, endearing or even sexy. However,it can cause problems down the road. The best way to understand immaturity is to ask yourself this question, “Is there an area of your spouse’s life where they appear to be not ready to be an adult?”

Factor #8:  Marry beneath you.  No one wants to hear that somebody could be beneath them, but there are people beneath you. If you are educated, marry someone who is also educated,or well read.  If you live in a trailer park, avoid someone who is renting a room.  If you are renting a room, avoid someone who is couch surfing. As the expression goes, “Water finds its level.”

Factor #9:  Ignore character flaws.  There are times when we get swept up in the thrill and excitement of a new relationship.  During this period, it is very easy to ignore character flaws.  The most common character flaws that should not be ignored are lying, dishonesty, laziness, abusive behaviour towards others, or an explosive temper.

Factor #10:  Your spouse has a tendency to not answer questions.  Questions, whether they be on simple matters, or complex matters are avoided, circumvented, delayed, or greeted with hostility.  Any environment where you can’t ask questions, or don’t know the answer to important questions about your spouse is unhealthy.

A happy marriage is an ideal that most people have. It is not impossible.  However, the likelihood of having one means being patient, being honest with yourself,  and keeping your eyes and ears open until the right person comes along.